Spices everywhere. Purple corn bag staring at me, like, why did I even buy this? Definitely didn’t plan on making chicha morada, but then my Peruvian friend went on about how it’s “just like her abuela made.” I caved. But honestly, does anyone mention how the real South American food stuff happens way off Instagram? […]

Okay, so I’m poking around my dinner—sashimi, a miso soup I swear never tastes the same twice, pickles that look like someone’s final art project—and suddenly I realize, it’s not even the food that’s getting to me. There’s just this sneaky, slow-burn satisfaction that hits after Japanese dinners. No fireworks, no “wow” moment, just, like, […]

Pomegranates everywhere, but somehow the juice costs more than a latte. Why? No clue. I asked a taxi driver about olive oil, and he just muttered, “If it doesn’t burn your throat, it’s a lie.” He’s been making his own since ‘94, so now I don’t trust the supermarket stuff. You haven’t really tasted Mediterranean […]

Look, I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, a collective midlife crisis, or just TikTok boredom, but suddenly everyone’s obsessed with harissa, Sichuan peppercorns (which, by the way, are never where you think they’ll be), sumac, and shichimi togarashi. Are we all trying out for MasterChef? No clue. Apparently, global spice sales are “booming”—BBC says […]

Ten minutes in, I’m already regretting this—why does nobody warn you that chefs (the real ones, not the ones who just plate microgreens) are totally obsessed with features most people never even notice? Convection cooking isn’t some secret handshake, but the way it browns and roasts—seriously, it’s wild. I used to think it was marketing […]

Forgot the gasket grime again. Every time I fumble with blender settings, I’m cursing last week’s mystery leak—was it mango? Who knows. Wiping the blades? That’s for amateurs. If you want your blender to last more than a year, you have to get in there—behind the rubber seal, under the base, all those gross spots […]

Was it last Tuesday or the one before that my neighbor panic-texted me at 7am, convinced her chicken was doomed after eight hours in the slow cooker? I can’t remember. What I do remember: people keep acting like tossing in whatever “healthy” ingredient’s trending will magically fix flavor or nutrition. Kale’s not a spell, folks. […]

Okay, so I’ll just say it: every single time I use my blender, I forget the order. It’s always the sticky yogurt and those frozen fruit boulders at the bottom, and then the thing makes that horrible “I’m dying” sound, and I realize—yep, did it wrong again. Supposedly, pro chefs (and Reader’s Digest, if you […]

So, I’m staring down another one of those bills that makes you question your entire existence, and meanwhile, my neighbor’s waving her $22 savings in my face because she ditched her oven for a Philips air fryer. What’s wild is, air fryers actually cut energy use by up to half compared to ovens. Nobody’s talking […]